Sunday, May 22, 2016

Oh, Eat a Dick

Do people still say that?  Did people ever really say that?  It's kind of rude, right?  Let me start by saying that I'm really not trying to be rude.  Really.  Not at all.

I'm a busy mom and somehow, almost every week, meal planning gets the best of me.  I am literally surprised, each and every Monday, that it's Monday and that suddenly I have no plans for dinner for the week, and in turn, no groceries.  So I have to make a quick list and get as few items as possible (likely no less than a mere 200 or so) to get us set to make it through the week.

A few weeks ago, I had picked up one of those pork tenderloins.  You know, (essentially) the marinated meat tubes packaged in plastic wrap.  Some can have a crazy amount of sodium so I always check to see which is the least and pick up that one.  Well, when I made this one several weeks ago, my 2.5 year old kid actually ate it.  He called it turkey sausage, but whatever, he ate it.  For him to eat a meat product that I make is damn near a miracle so I figured it was something we should try again.

So fast forward to last week, when I picked up a teriyaki version at Target.  Now, I remember several years ago, being at my mom and dad's and my mom made one of these things and we both giggled a little bit at how it looked a little "gross."  You know what I mean.  Real mature.  For whatever reason, the one I had picked up a few weeks back just didn't hit me that way.  It was fine, just a mere meat tube.  But this one.  This one was a little different.  I took it out of its packaging and put it in the casserole dish and just frowned at it a little bit.  Then I put it out of my mind.  I was just being silly and immature and this meat tube didn't look like anything other than a simple tube of meat.  Not that a tube of meat sounds all that appetizing, but still.  Tube of meat.  That's all it is.

I put it in the oven and went about preparing the rest of dinner, which, I can't even remember what that was, at this juncture.  When I went to take the pork tenderloin out of the oven, I kid you not, it looked like this:

Y'all.  I've been married almost 4 years.  I have 2 kids.  I'm no expert or anything but I think I can admit that I know what a penis looks like.  I bet you can, too.  And if not, let me tell you, it looks a whole lot like this.  My dinner.  The pork tenderloin that I'm about to feed my family looks just like I baked a giant penis in the oven.  Obviously, I had to take a picture and share it with a few friends, just to be sure and confirm that it did indeed look like a penis. Confirmed.  And then I cut it up into little pieces, and we ate it - my 2.5 year old, myself and my husband.  Gross.  

And now it's Sunday again, and I find myself contemplating what I'll make for dinner this week, because I'm pretty sure I won't be making this "easy" pork tenderloin again for a very long time.  What are you making for dinner this week?
 

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